A former police officer in a Detroit suburb is not being arrested or charged, despite taking confiscated marijuana, baking it into brownies, and then trying to convince a local police dispatcher that he is dead.

Read the story HERE and listen to the 911 call HERE.

This is fucked, I hope justice is served and that lightweight bitch cop goes to jail.

Last night the Golden State Warriors became the first number 8 seed to knock of a number 1 seed (the Dallas Mavericks) in a best of seven opening round series. So...fuck you Dirk Nowitzki and fuck you Mark Cuban. Let's have Steve Nash as a three time MVP, you think America can handle that?

Check out less than flattering clips of Dirk here...here ...and here.

Here's a sentence I read today in an old issue of Film Quarterly about a sex scene in the movie Medium Cool, which you can read about here.

"This gavotte is amusing because most males in breast-fed-and-bred America probably find greater visual (not tactile) excitement in a beautiful poitrine rather than in the pudendum."

I thought this sentence was hilarious the first time I read it, even though I didn't understand the words "gavotte," "poitrine," and "pudendum." I guess I could figure out their general meaning based on the context. Here's dictionary.com anyways:

Gavotte-an old French dance in moderately quick quadruple meter
Poitrine-a woman's breasts
Pudendum-the external genital organs, esp. those of the female; vulva

I need to start using pudendum more often. Great word.

My aunt lives in Germany, I'm jealous right now...

A drunk German guy got tired while riding his horse so he decided to take a nap in his bank, with the horse standing by his side. He was found the next morning, when someone took this should-be-prize-winning photo:


Look at how confused that horse is.


You can read the full story here. Make sure to check out the statements made by the bank spokeswoman. I wonder if they are a translation or she spoke English.

Also, how many people do you think use horses as a primary mode of transportation in Germany?
Can you get a DUI on a horse?

Bulls are up two games to none on the defending champion Miami Heat in the first round of the NBA playoffs.

Check this picture of Andres Nocioni and Tyrus Thomas...




I read a story today on ESPN.com about Scott Skiles, the current Bulls coach, and Shaq getting into a fist fight when they were teammates back in the day on the Magic. Neither one of them will fully recount the incident, so the ESPN.com article was basically fluff, but it's still kinda cool to think about. I bet if Shaq got a clean shot at Skiles he would end his life.

Edit: that's Tyrus Thomas in the picture, not Luol Deng.

Charles Simon, the software engineer guy behind Microsoft Word, just paid twenty five million dollars to go to the International Space Station. Check him out in the picture being all blurry.

So animals have these things called Central Pattern Generators, which are a group of nerve cells (neurons) that function to activate muscle cells. The intersting thing about these Central Pattern Generators is that they do not recieve motor input from the brain. The only thing the brain tells them to do is start and stop, and once started they'll continue until they get the stop command from the brain. These Central Pattern Generators are common in such involuntary activities as walking, chewing, and breathing.

But what's funny is how they discovered this phenomenon of CPG's: two Russian scientists started a cat walking on a treadmill and when it was all good and settled on the treadmill, they chopped its spinal cord. As they hypothesized, the hind legs amazingly kept on walking on the treadmill. I really wish I could see a video of this experiment.

I read in the New York Post Police Blotter that some guy got arrested in Queens for assualting someone with a wooden door.